LOL Central: 50 Jokes Every 9–12 Year Old Will Totally Get
Clever, clean, and actually funny jokes for tweens who are too cool for knock-knocks (but still secretly love them).
Big Kids, Big Laughs!
Welcome to the ultimate collection of funny jokes for 9 to 12 year olds—packed with just the right amount of silly, smart, and snappy. Whether you’re looking for jokes for tweens, clean jokes for older kids, or funny one-liners for middle schoolers, these jokes are perfect for road trips, sleepovers, lunch tables, and classroom chuckles. They’re clever enough to make your big kid feel hilarious and safe enough for teachers and parents to love, too!
50 Clean and Clever Jokes for 9–12 Year Olds
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Parallel lines have so much in common…
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the computer go to art class?
To learn how to draw its icons!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
I used to play piano by ear…
But now I use my hands.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s okay—he woke up.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
I told my dog to fetch a stick…
He came back with a complaint letter from the squirrels.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs!
What did one wall say to the other?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
They’d crack each other up.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!
Why was the broom late to school?
Because it overswept!
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes!
I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia…
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
Why are elevator jokes so good?
They work on so many levels.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for school?
Bison!
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go.
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
I’m on a seafood diet…
I see food and I eat it.
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I’m coming down with something.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.
What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
Irrelephant.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
Why did the iPhone go to school?
It wanted to be smarter than a smartphone.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
Why did the chicken sit in the middle of the road?
Because he wanted to lay it on the line.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Why don’t you ever trust stairs?
They’re always up to something.
Parent Tip
These jokes are great for building social confidence, encouraging wordplay, and sparking light-hearted conversations with older kids. Perfect for classroom icebreakers and rainy-day boredom busters!
